i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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