You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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