You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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