Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
