Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
