I'm drive I can fine osifer
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
