evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
