Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
