You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You left your underwear on the fireplace
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just had sex on a roof
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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