What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
