He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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