just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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