So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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