when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
