"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
