haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
