I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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