did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
