i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
