I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
