Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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