My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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