youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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