I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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