It's Friday. Sex?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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