if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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