I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
