i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
organizing the empties. That sober.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
