It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
