I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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