If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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