She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
