I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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