that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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