Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so let's talk penis.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
