he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
