went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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