"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
