sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
