Princesses don't give blow jobs
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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