I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
