we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
