Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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