You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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