That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
