You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's official drugs can't kill me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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