No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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