My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
