i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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