My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Every concussion has its silver lining
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
